A Little Preview Of A Project I'm Working On, And How Imposter Syndrome Is Trying Hard To Sabotage It
This week I'm working on my portfolio for the Acadia National Park Artist In Residence application
![Two pencil sketches of a heron and a mushroom with ladybug](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F039713ab-00b5-4db5-b7b8-9c35e7f3751a_1046x1351.jpeg)
![Two pencil sketches of a heron and a mushroom with ladybug](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F851b3b2a-24cd-486f-a6c4-f15cffa118a0_1046x1351.jpeg)
Hiya!
This week I’m focused on finishing artwork – eight total plus at least one nature journal spread – to send with my application for a spot as an Artist In Residence in Acadia National Park next year. Most of my pieces will be pen and ink, but I’m planning to finish the two above in ink and wash.
I finalized my application narrative over the weekend, and am pretty excited about my project called “Expedition Of Wonder.” It includes making illustrations and nature journal pages from my experiences walking in the Park next year and a nature journal workshop for park visitors. I’ve also been on the 2024 exhibition schedule at the Northeast Harbor Library since 2022, and this project culminates in an art show and presentation at the end of the year!
Imposter syndrome is hitting me hard this morning, though, which is part of the reason I’m sharing this. I expect as I get nearer to the deadline (Friday!) I’m going to start talking myself out of applying. Silly, right? That’s imposter syndrome! For me, it shows up most of the time as an insidious, (un)reasonable voice that tries to talk me out of going for things I really want.
Here’s what it’s saying this morning as I work on my pieces:
There are only 4 spots and tens of thousands of applicants from real artists.
You haven’t been an established artist for very long.
Your work isn’t as good as those real artists.
You won’t finish in time.
Your project goals and objectives are silly.
Nobody will want to nature journal with you in the park.
And on and on. So here I am taking a moment to write to you so that I have a public declaration that I am going to finish this portfolio, upload it to the application site, and push the send button on Friday. You are my witness!
xoSusannah
This would be wonderful and I have no doubt you could not only do it, but you'd do it justice too. Is there any way to sneakily mention your Substack in the application, demonstrate that you could spread word about the Park, locally, nationally, and internationally? (I'd never heard of it, until the happy day I came across you here.)
As far as being good enough, art-wise, you are. Anyone who has seen your work would agree and, especially, anyone who has seen your art work alongside the pieces you write. After all, nature journalling isn't just pretty pictures!
I shall keep all my fingers and toes crossed for you. I suppose there must be an element of luck to such an application, after all.
You are definitely good enough (and I think you also know that, when the imposter syndrome doesn't shout so loudly!).
🥹 Thank you so much for the encouragement and the crossed appendages (I’ll cross mine as soon as I finish all the submission pieces 😝). I did mention it in the narrative as one of the “outreach” activities, but you’re right, most people really don’t know this park. I didn’t until I moved here and I’ve been camping in national parks my whole life! Hoping it helps elevate the application... 🤞